sorry to come at you like this but..i feel so lonely. im a strong independent woman,and i have a passion for knowledge, and i'm privileged to study what i love, and i'm SO grateful and i believe that love is only love when you give it to others. ive worked hard to leave the scared bullied girl i was to a kind,loving,talented,passionate girl. im happy. im proud. except that no one sees that. maybe i come off as intimidating?but no once cares and i give so much and get nothing in return. so lonely
You have nothing to be sorry for! <3 It sucks feeling that way, and I can totally relate. You sound like an amazing person. I’m sorry you were bullied <3 I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you, and how hard it still is. You are kind, loving, talented, passionate, happy, intelligent, not to mention amazing, the right people will see that. Believe me. Before I moved to Vancouver, I felt the same way you did. I’m such a giving, loving person, but I never felt truly, deeply connected to majority of the people in my life. I felt taken advantage of, taken for granted, and I didn’t feel happy in my relationships with people. I found happiness, and peace by being kind to everyone, being grateful, loving myself, and loving others (which I was also doing before, but I didn’t truly love myself). I didn’t know anyone when I first moved, but it didn’t matter. I never truly felt alone, and I think its because I focused on making myself feel good. I went on adventures, I had conversations with strangers, I took a lot of selfies, I played with animals, and babies, ate gelato, and I just lived without being overly concerned with making friends, or maintaining them, or worrying about making myself happy. I did everything alone, but I never felt alone. I have this need to be connected with people, and nature, and I think we all do. So I did that, I went up the mountains, I went on a tree top adventure, I sat by the ocean, and met people along the way. I don’t know if this helped at all, please private message me, I promise I won’t judge, or publish anything, we can talk, and maybe that will help :)
Stop doing things for people that don’t appreciate it, or that take you for granted. You can still be kind, and caring, but you don’t owe them anything, and you don’t have to go out of your way to do things for them. I used to do this, and it was the most gut wrenching experience. Constantly giving, and doing things for people that had no value for me. I’m not saying don’t do anything nice for anyone. I’m simply saying don’t bend over backwards for people that don’t appreciate it. You are worth more, and you deserve more.
Focus on you, feel good about yourself, distance yourself from the toxic people in your life, be healthy, love yourself, be kind to yourself, do the things you love, forgive yourself, forgive others, and be grateful. You already are/do most of these things, just love yourself! <3